We’ve all experienced a moment where we were so close to some prize - whether it be a trophy, a championship, helping your team win, etc. - but end up falling just short. Throughout my career as a chess player, I’ve participated in many national championships, with opportunities to place in the top 5 about four times heading into the last round. Even with all these opportunities, I've lost every single one of those high-pressure games! My worst enemy ended up being myself: doubting my calculations, lacking confidence, and second guessing my decisions led to wasting precious time and blunders.
My breakthrough tournament ended up being the KCF All-Girls National Championships in April of 2019. In my section, the top three girls (who happened to be some of my closest friends!) were all seasoned expert+ level players who played competitive chess for years. Despite the tough competition, I knew I had an opportunity to win as long as I kept my confidence. After wins in rounds 1 and 2, I ended up in a very drawish position against one of the experts. After 3 hours of playing, it was late evening, and all I wanted was to offer a draw and go to sleep! However, I knew I still would have to face a national master, and I decided to press for the win for a little longer, especially considering she was lower on time. My perseverance ended up being a success and I headed into the most crucial round against the national master.
Unfortunately, I started with an awful position out of the opening and all of the second-guessing and doubts came rushing back. I was down two pawns, my pieces scattered all over the board, and I was about to lose another piece. “This is a hopeless position.” “How could I miss such simple moves?” “I’m a horrible player.” It can be challenging for me to simply “move on” from my mistakes, but I realized I would have no chances if I simply gave up. It ended up being a roller coaster game with a fitting result - a draw. However, the game had a much more significant meaning for me - achieving success in a high-pressure situations, even when I was much worse! I ended up winning my section - proving to myself that perseverance and a confident mindset had paid off. In chess, it can be very easy to second guess yourself, which becomes a lot more prevalent when there are bigger rewards at stake. Having confidence in your abilities and focusing on winning the game instead of the prize are two essential skills I've learned through trial and error! Hopefully, my experience can help you achieve success the next time you’re in one of these situations!
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